I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Randomize
