cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
