What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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