Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
