is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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