Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
