i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
i can't believe i had my finger in that
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
