bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
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