I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
