ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
