I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
