she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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