absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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