the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
