you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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