question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
