we're chasing vodka with high fives
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
