so that wasnt chicken after all
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize