if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
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