he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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