On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
