dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
