Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
