Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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