dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
