Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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