Rock
Scissors
Fuck
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
