You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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