I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
