we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
