I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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