I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
