i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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