Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
