I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
