Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
