My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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