i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
