I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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