Ambien. No doubt about it.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Randomize
