shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Just invented taco cereal.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
