But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
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