I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
