You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
You were trust falling into bushes
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
