youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
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