i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
