Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
