So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
