Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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