I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I just had sex on a roof
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
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