the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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