As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
