Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Randomize
