Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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